8 Unintended Messages Sabotaging Your Client Relationships

Words say so much — but not always what we intend. These unintended messages leave a bigger imprint than any intended message. And few of those sending the messages ever know it.

We uncovered 8 phrases clients are hearing — and it’s driving them crazy — or worse. These come across loud and clear. And right out of our just completed large-scale survey of more than 350 corporate counsel.

“That’s what it costs to work with a firm like ours”

Few messages bring the sting of opacity than telling clients it is what it is — when queried about high fees and higher rates. This statement brings a presumption of obvious value — what clients are already questioning. It also tells the inquiring corporate counsel they are ignorant of the firm’s presumed stature.

The better answer is something like — I am using the best team to solve your problem (or meet your goal). If I overstepped please let me know and I will be happy to walk through everything we did to ensure we communicate the compelling nature and scope of our work.

“I didn’t get to it yet — but it’s on my radar”

This is a way outside counsel says “I didn’t meet the deadline or expectation” or “ I didn’t get to it.” What clients hear is: “I have other — more important — things to do.” Their matter is not near the top of the list. This phrase is a mere single step away from “I don’t care.”

Clients understand timing can get derailed. But, they want to know they are a priority and important to you. And they want to be aware of any changes to the timeline they rely on to make promises to their bosses. And — tell them if you are going to miss a deadline.

“That’s a business issue — it’s not for me to comment”

Virtually every issue corporate counsel face is rooted in a business issue. And more clients than ever are involved in helping their companies transform their businesses. A decline to comment is telling clients you don’t understand what they face in their world.

So many lawyers are uncomfortable commenting on business issues. However — you have other options. You can ask another attorney about the business implications. You can also help clients go through a pro/con analysis from a business perspective and remain a neutral party.

“It’s your decision”

Clients want your counsel and advice. This includes an unequivocal recommendation to solve a problem. Your declination removes your advice from the equation. And removes the bulk of the value you bring. Corporate counsel rely on their primary attorney for their advice and recommendations — the legal prowess is a bonus.

“No”

Clients explain it’s so easy to say no, and a “no” can put clients in a position where they have a lot of explaining to do. More than 60% of corporate counsel tell us they are trying to get to yes — especially in settlements, regulations, M&A, Financial Services, Health Care, and Tech.

“You don’t get it”

Clients see this as one of the cardinal insults. Even if they don’t “get it” — an attorney has a responsibility to explain the situation so clients get it. The best attorneys see these situations as helping clients learn new knowledge and as an opportunity to collaborate with clients.

And — it is hard to recover from this dismissal. You miss the value of listening to what your client is taking issue with and why.

“I’m super busy”

As one client tells us — “Welcome to my world. I have an unfathomable workload. It’s the way of the world. And this tells me they are probably too unfocused to make me a priority — and are too busy to be considered for new work.”

Clients become concerned about capacity when their attorney talks about how busy they are 3 or more times. It’s considered a sign of stress and overwork. Outside lawyers may be expressing enthusiasm or sharing how they are when clients ask — or worse — explain why deliverables are late.

Nothing… as in Radio Silence

Clients fume when they need an answer or update — and find outside counsel missing in action. Corporate counsel rely on these updates, changes, and status to update their management. Outside counsel silence easily makes clients look bad.

Law firm leaders are often surprised their partners use these phrases with clients. They have a built-in assumption partners know what to say to clients. Many do — but it’s the ones who don’t who cause the damage to themselves and the firm.

We are seeing more and more law firms define etiquette standards for video meetings. These standards include attire, discussion points as the meeting comes to order, demeanor, and how to look at the camera instead of the screen. It may be time to develop communication etiquette and training, as the cost of unintended messages is both large and enduring.

By contrast — check out the 6 phrases clients want to hear from you.